Five Counts of Perjury
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: AU. Phoenix's arguments can be supported by a deceptively simple case: the tale of a jealous boy's actions, of questionable parenting choices, and the price the truth can cost. Proving the significance of the precedent to Edgeworth, is much more difficult in contrast.
1. Jingle-It Can't End Here

**More characterization practice for a larger Ace Attorney fic.**

 **If I were to give a description of the AU here, it would be Manfred Von Karma dies in a hole- _pardon,_ I meant no Dl-6, with a hint of Fey!Miles. For. Reasons. **

**Read, review, and enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Ace Attorney.**

* * *

"Edgeworth, please, I have to know."

There was a moment of silence, the tension between them almost crackling in warning. Then, he scoffed.

"What an absurd idea! You've no way to prove anything of the contrary! I've never bothered to hide frivolous details. I assumed that much was clear from any of our conversations. But then again, you always have enjoyed making dramatic claims."

Each syllable was punctuated with more venom than the last, dripping in skepticism. Yet no barb could stop Phoenix from laughing. Instantly on the defensive at his reaction, Edgeworth snarled, "what's so funny?"

"It's just-" he tried, and failed, to smother a second, rueful laugh. Like a flower in bloom, his fingers uncurled, revealing what rested upon his palm. "I'd never really thought I'd need to use this on you."

Beyond a sharp flash in his eyes, he did not respond. Then, slowly drawing out his words with a cold disdain, he replied, "I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Then allow me to _remind_ you of some _evidence."_

* * *

During lunch period, they were allowed to move from their assigned desks to wherever they wanted. Naturally, Miles was with Phoenix, by the coat rack near the back of the class. Larry normally would have been with them too. Disturbing the peace by distracting Phoenix, trying to mooch snacks, or have conversations which did not matter. Some of the time, he actually did homework which was due the next period, taking up all of _their_ lunch to help him.

While they were lining up to go inside that morning, Phoenix had asked him to explain what jurisprudence was. He had intended to so do at recess, but Larry had come along, somehow _deceiving_ Phoenix into playing tag instead.

So, to prevent future interference, Miles _possibly_ could have taken Larry's homework, and put it somewhere far away from where they now sat. Not that such an action was wrong. He certainly hadn't _stolen_ the homework Larry needed to finish. In fact, he had done the _responsible_ thing, by putting the book report in the pile on the teacher's desk. That was where it was _expected_ to be placed, after all. He was being a perfectly good samaritan with his actions, not a thieving law-breaker.

"So it's a big word, for everything about law?"

"Not quite," he wrinkled his nose, when he realized that his father had sent him slices of bell pepper again. "If you have any snacks of equal healthiness..."

Without hesitation, Phoenix took the pepper, and gave him the carrot sticks he had been saving until that point.

"Thank-you. Now, think of jurisprudence as-"

"Hey! Edgey! I've got a bone to pick with you!"

 _"Larry!"_

The aforementioned boy marched up to them. When he reached their desks, he placed his hands on his hips, and put on his best glare.

"Coming to join us?"

"Oh well I mean if you have any more of those fruit gummies- _I mean_ , NO! I know you have something to do with my book report going missing!"

"Me?!" Phoenix indignantly squawked. "How can something go missing if you didn't do it to begin with?"

"I may have not done it, but I still had the paper, and the rubric! And it wasn't you, Nick."

Miles had chosen to take a long time chewing his food, to avoid confrontation. His heart sped up a little when he lied, "as flattered as I am by the idea that you consider me a culprit, I have better things to do."

Like spend time with Nick.

Which was coincidentally the whole reason why he had taken the book report to begin with.

 _"Not that Larry is capable of drawing such logical connections, of course,"_ he reassured himself.

"You totally did!" Larry whined, stomping his foot.

This brought the attention in the room to them. Dozens more stares rested upon him as he fibbed now. Miles wondered if his grand scheme had been that good of an idea to begin with. He was uncertain if he could lie in front of such an audience, especially one which was known for being so fickle. Pinpricks of sweat broke out on his hands, he could feel the pressure of their stares.

"I did not! Just because you're incapable of keeping track of your work, it doesn't mean it's my fault!"

Then, to his immense relief, Phoenix joined in.

"Yeah! Miles wouldn't lie about this! You just want to blame him because you didn't get your homework done!"

The betrayal on Larry's gaping face almost made him feel bad for a moment. Almost. But then, a great sensation of calm swept over him. Any stray signs of uncertainty, he managed to collect. A peculiar, tingling feeling buzzed through his body. It was power, and it pounded through his veins, crept along his spine. Phoenix was supporting him, he felt all the more safer in his lie because of it. Him and Phoenix, versus Larry. He was outnumbered. _"Phoenix likes me more than he like you,"_ Miles wanted to say, wanting to thumb his nose at the other boy. That would give it all away of course. He settled for leaning closer to Nick, trying to appear grateful for what he had said.

"What? Nick! You can't be serious! He's converted you!"

"Instead of arguing about why your report is lost, why don't you go look for it?" Miles suggested.

"Maybe I _will_ ," he huffed, storming away. "Traitor."

Everyone went about their business with Larry gone. Together, they split the package of fruit gummies based on colour. Phoenix had claim of any blue or purple, he received all the red and orange, while Larry got yellow and green. Since Larry wasn't with them, they agreed on taking the very sweet burden of one extra colour each. He finally got the chance to properly explain what jurisprudence was. Phoenix didn't ask questions about law often, but when he did, Miles always made sure to do a thorough job of answering.

As Larry spent the remainder of lunch unsuccessfully looking for his "report," a sick sort of victory filled him. He'd pulled it off, he'd gotten to have a lunch which was almost completely free of the Butz. Phoenix had even backed him up, even though... He was... lying. When Larry was still searching into lunch recess, the smug triumph bled away. The gummies, which weren't even rightfully his, seemed to stick his tongue to the roof of his mouth. He... didn't really want to talk anymore, especially not to _him._

Throughout the rest of the day, a twisted knot worked its way into his throat. Thick guilt constricted him, caused by his horror at the realization of just how loyal Phoenix was. With utter conviction, he had backed him up, claimed that he would never lie. And Phoenix really believed it, really thought him to be telling the truth. He had used the trust Phoenix felt to get away with a crime!

The moment his father asked him how his day was, it all came tumbling out. He'd had a day where Larry managed to interrupt what he was saying to Phoenix a record amount of times. When he noticed the blank pages entitled "The Butz's Report" scribbled on them, he'd thought it would be a convenient distraction. How he'd begun to _hate_ Phoenix splitting his attention between the two of them, and how great it was to not have Larry around for a bit. Then there was the terrible epiphany: Phoenix had stood with him, unknowingly backed up a lie. (And he'd hurt Larry, a fact which he hastily added on when his father asked him.)

"Well," his father began, after a long, drawn-out silence, "what are we going to do about this Miles?"

Still breathing heavily, yet interrupted by the occasional hiccup, he stuttered out, "I-I don't know."

As he stared at his swollen face in the rear view mirror, Miles wondered if this moment was more or less embarrassing than the strange "talk" his father had given him a month ago. At least his scarlet cheeks had cooled down after a while. At least he'd possessed no desire to rub his stinging eyes of the salt which clung to the corners.

"I think," he continued, in the patronizing tone Miles hated- for he only used when he was stern- "you should start off with apologizing."

"Y-yes Father," he choked out, in a raspy voice. "I-I don't want-"

"Want what?"

"What if someone else tried to use him like that? Make him give credibility to their lie?"

"Yes, I can see how that could be a problem."

Other than that, he didn't speak for the rest of the ride home. There was quiet, barring the occasional sniffle, until they arrived, and he was in the middle of washing his lunch containers. Just as he was rinsing off the smallest (which had contained the peppers) his father called, "Miles, come here for a moment."

He wanted to reply, but all he could manage was a little squeak. Drying his hands of the suds, and stepping off the stool, he went in search of his father's voice. It came from the living room. His father was standing by the fireplace, with his back facing him. He was reaching for something on the mantle. The matches? No, when he turned, there was a wooden box in his hands.

It was carved into a bear shape, complete with lines marking the fur, its eyes, and claws. It was segmented in places, his father pulled one of these sections first. It was like a pin, holding the lid in position. It then slid off, revealing a smaller door, which hid the cavity inside the bear. A puzzle box?

There, nested in the bottom, was a charm. It was emerald-green, and almost translucent. When the light was caught in its surfaces, jagged veins of white spread across the inside. The smooth, rounded texture reminded him of beach glass, but the shape had to be man-made. It was a number six, complete with a hole punched in the middle.

"I received this from a..." he trailed off, voice distant. "Our relationship was quite like yours and Phoenix's, actually. It's called a magatama, and it allows you to filter the lies from the truth. I think your friend could benefit from this, if you're so worried about him."

"Like a polygraph? Why don't they use it in courts then?"

"They're not common, and it's even less common to receive one which has been charged."

"Charged?"

The magatama was weighty in his cupped palms, and frigid to the touch. As his father spoke, he could almost sense the static energy, racing through it, coursing along the lightning-like veins.

"By a Spirit Medium, at the peak of her power. It will apparently last twice longer than normal."

"How old is it now?"

"The same age as you, and it still has ten more years to go."

"Why," he turned over the magatama, he couldn't help but regard it with skepticism, "why have you never used this when interviewing your clients?"

"The truth is valuable, but the cost of getting it from a person... Isn't always worth it. Anyway," his tone perked up with semi-false cheer, "tell your friend this will help him discover lies, if he sees fit."

* * *

 _"I need you to promise something before I give this to you."_

 _"O-oh, uh, ok! What is it?"_

 _"If you suspect someone of lying, use it on them. Even if that someone... Is me."_

 _"Pffft! Miles, you'd never lie about anything important!"_

 _"Wright."_

 _"Fine, I promise."_

 _"...Thank-you."_

* * *

 **CRACK!**

With a tinkle like shattered glass, the first of five shattered. The labyrinth of chains still stretched on ethereally, but they seemed somehow weaker after the first blow.

"Perhaps I _do_ recall," was the grudging admission, "not that it proves anything."

Fingers coiled around the magatama once again, he narrowed his eyes

 _"Rest assured Edgeworth,"_ he thought. _"I'm going to break those psyche locks, one-by-one."_

* * *

 **I'm at the bottom of the page now too! Which I typically don't do, yet here I am.**

 **ALTERNATE ENDING**

"He ruined my book report!" Larry whined, stomping his foot.

This brought the attention in the room to them now. Dozens more stares rested upon him as he fibbed now. Miles wondered if his grand scheme had been that good of an idea to begin with. He was uncertain if he could lie in front of such an audience, especially one which was known for being so fickle. Pinpricks of sweat broke out on his hands, he could feel the pressure of stares now.

"I did _not!_ Teacher, send him to the principal's office and have him _**expelled!"**_

 **FIN**

 **I decided _not_ to go with that one because this is a _serious_ story which is (mostly) free of memes. **

**Also, giving something which can break your soul if used incorrectly (that is canonically what happens to Phoenix if he loses all his energy when the unlock fails) is not really what I would recommend presenting to a child. However, I would also suggest not letting thirteen year-olds prosecute, and letting a man move out of the country, far away from child services after just adopting a child.**

 **The world of Ace Attorney doesn't seem to like my suggestions.**


	2. Jingle-You Need to Rest at Such a Time

"So I remember giving you a green rock," Edgeworth disdainfully shook his head. "It brings nothing to your case, it doesn't prove any of your theories."

"If you remember the magatama, then I'm already on my way to showing you the truth."

"Evidence Wright. Show me evidence that I'm wrong, not circumstantial nonsense."

"Try using your shoddy memory to see if you can recall what happened when you apologized to Larry."

* * *

It was a bright spring morning, the next day back at school. He found Larry alone in the yard, stomping in the murky puddles which formed the previous night. As he approached- making sure to avoid getting his shoes wet- Larry's kicks grew stronger, until there was little puddle left to splash in. Flecks of water flew upwards and rained back down on them. It took all he had not to cringe. He knew Larry was doing it on purpose to drive him away. Staying resolute, he marched forth, and reminded himself that he had his rain boots on as well.

"Larry," he started, deliberately joining him in the large puddle.

"Edgey," he glumly replied, viciously bringing his foot upon the water. "Come to apologize?"

Larry turned his attention from the rippling surface. There were numerous lines of white paint across the yard. They divided up basketball courts, the spots where students were to line up, and the boundaries which contained them. They began to walk along a line, one yellow boot after the other.

"Yes Larry, you're right."

"Yeah I- wait, what?"

Surprised, he stopped, wobbling on the spot. Larry stuck out his arms to keep from falling off the line. Miles waited for him to catch his balance, before speaking.

"You're right Larry," he patiently repeated, tightening his grip on the straps of his backpack.

"You..." Larry's mouth hung open. "You've never said _that_ before!"

 _"Well you've never been right before either,"_ he wanted to retort. "Larry, I am sorry. I took your book report and hid it."

"E-Edgey..."

"I shouldn't have acted as I did, and I will not do so again," he continued. "I will tell the teacher-"

"What?! Miles no!"

A new set of footsteps slapped across the asphalt. From behind the wall, Phoenix arrived, chasing after them.

"H-hold it!" Phoenix bent over, trying to catch his breath. "There's no way you could've-"

"Edgey admitted to it Nick," Larry sighed.

Miles' heart almost stopped when he realized Phoenix had heard them. He wanted to sink into the ground. He wished he had never apologized to Larry. It was never his intention to reveal he had lied to Phoenix. But now, he knew, and his ability to vocalize was temporarily taken from him. Miles could only nod for emphasis, but Phoenix wasn't convinced.

"You're not guilty! It's a false confession! You don't have any motive!"

"Motive?" Miles' voice wavered, even as he tried to sound critical. "Even if the motive was important to begin with, is Larry being incredibly annoying not reason enough?"

"Hey!"

He gave the boy a sorry look.

"No, it's not!" Phoenix hotly yelled. "Larry annoys you all the time-"

"Hey!"

Phoenix shrugged apologetically in his direction.

"-but you haven't done anything since then! So I don't believe it! You're just making stuff up!"

"Maybe I simply grew tired of it," he shot back, "can you prove my own feelings on the contrary? Where's your evidence?"

"I don't need evidence because I know, I know..." Phoenix floundered, searching for something to say. "I know you're lying!"

"Then why don't you use your magatama, to check?"

Eyes went wide, and he was speechless. Miles glared in return, daring him to try. They both knew it worked, as far-fetched as it sounded. Phoenix tested it the night before, when he had gifted the magatama.

"The what?" Larry asked, ever-oblivious to the rising tension.

"It's a lie detector," he smoothly explained, never taking his gaze off Phoenix. "It can prove that someone is hiding a secret with one hundred percent accuracy."

Phoenix's hands curled into furiously shaking fists.

"I-I-"

"It's even better than the lie detector the police have."

"I-I-I-"

"Then use it Nick! We'll figure this out soon enough!"

"Yes, go on," he coolly said. "See if I'm lying. Ask me if I stole Larry's book report."

"WAAAH!"

Tears streaking down his face, Phoenix roughly pushed past them. He ran in the opposite direction he had come, sobbing for all the school to hear.

"Yikes."

Miles ignored Larry, thinking about what his father had said. The price of finding the truth...

"Where are you going- _HEY_ Edgey wait up!"

The truth was not going to cost him a friend.

* * *

"Remind me, what does upsetting your delicate feelings at the time have to do with anything?"

"You lied about why you hid those papers Edgeworth. _'Even if the motive was important to begin with,'_ you told us. That makes motive seem like a bit of a ' _frivolous detail'_ , doesn't it? One which you lied about!"

"This happened years ago! I refuse to believe you have perfect recall of the exact words I said!"

 **CRACK!**

"The psyche locks beg to differ."


	3. Jingle-Slight Break

"Moving along, I believe you mentioned something about being clear when not hiding the irrelevant. As we've already established that you consider your motives to be _frivolous details_ , why don't we look back at the explanation you gave?"

* * *

Their pursuit led them to the place where Phoenix always went when he cried. There was something about the spot which always drew the boy there in his troubled times. The seclusion within the school had to do with it for certain, no students ever had a reason to visit it during school hours. And, if a teacher found him, it was probably for the better anyway, because it meant he was upset. There were other reasons for it becoming his default place to hide. Phoenix took comfort in being surrounding by the different toilet scrubbers. It had always been the most relaxing of his chores, there was nothing less stressful than having a clean toilet. The rack of mops and brooms was also welcome sight. There was even a near-endless supply of things for him to blow his nose on within the confines of the janitor's closet.

Larry, being the faster runner, reached it before Miles did. The door was already shut tight, and from inside, they could hear the distant sound of sobbing. Larry hesitated, knuckles wavering over the door. Then he knocked, in a pattern that they all recognized. Scuffling noises, but no acknowledgement of the person at the door.

"Hey Nick? Are you in there?"

"No!"

"He's in there," Larry said with a nod, as if Miles needed translation.

With slow deliberation, Larry decided their next step. Miles was too overcome with guilt to stop him. He could only stand back and watch. The familiar emotions bound what little ability he had left to speak. He had thought this plan would work. He had believed the magatama was the solution he needed to stop Phoenix from being manipulated ever again. Unassailable dread filled him at the idea of someone else gaining his trust, of someone using it, for their own, selfish plans.

He knew his own had been quite self-centered.

And it was that plan, that terrible idea which had overtaken his mind, until the only things he could think of was him, how Larry kept getting in the way...

"Do you feel like coming out?"

"No!"

"Well... Do you feel like having me come in?"

"No!"

"Do you not believe you're more handsome than me?"

"N-" Phoenix made a strangled, choking sound. A cross between laughter and sobbing.

"Alright, we're coming in."

Trembling, he followed Larry into the darkness of the closet. They fumbled around, searching for the switch. When they found it, the room was alight in a harsh, amber glow. Cramped between two shelves was Phoenix. He was on the floor with his back to them, knees drawn up to his chin. In order to get to him, they had to cross a veritable sea of toilet cleaner. Gallons of the lime-green stuff was piled up in bottles, surrounding him. Aerosol cans which had been knocked over slid beneath their feet. They clung to the shelves to keep from tripping on scattered supplies. Making it to the back of the stuffy room was a mystifying feat. The closer they drew to Phoenix, the more pungent the fumes of the chemicals became. But they made it. Larry crouched down beside Phoenix, and he stood there awkwardly, never knowing what to do in these situations.

"Hey Nick?"

He had been reduced to sniffles now, and took heavy, drawn-out breaths of the sickly air.

"G-go-!"

Unable to even face them, he went silent. Larry crouched down by Phoenix, bringing a hand to his back. Within a single gesture, he was suddenly grappling with his emotions, going from speechlessness to fighting the urge to snap at Larry.

 _"But he's... touching Nick!"_ One part of him protested, his tone childish and huffy.

 _"A mindset such as that one is exactly what lead us to this consequential point,"_ voiced the mature, grown-up tone he wanted to believe he sounded like.

To their right brown paper towels were stacked. Larry snatched a roll from the pyramid, making it uneasily tip. He tore off the wrappings and gave a sheet to Phoenix. Noisily, he blew his nose, and balled up the makeshift tissue.

"W-why? I don't understand how-"

He recognized that something needed to be said, that Larry couldn't just continue patting Phoenix on the back while he stood there. Yet he was floundering for something to say, wanting to understand how he was supposed to respond. He hated going into things blindly, the spontaneity and disorder of it all. He wanted a plan, no, he needed to have a plan.

 _"Planning is what brought me here in the first place,"_ he viciously reminded himself. _"Plans keep leading me to these bad outcomes."_

Inside, he was beginning to yell at himself. He was calling his lungs and vocal cords to order, commanding them to act, to let sound made it past his gritted teeth. They didn't need to be forced into a battle plan, there wasn't enough time to scheme of one. They needed to act, he needed to act.

"IstoleLarry'sbookreportbecauseIwantedtospendmoretimewithyou!" A sharp inhale, then, he went on, "Ireallyjustwantedtoexplainwhatjurisprudencewas!"

With his back turned, Phoenix hadn't even noticed he was in the room with them. Now, he twisted to stare at him with dripping, red eyes.

"That's n-not- that isn't-"

"Why isn't it possible?! I'm telling the truth!" Miles' knees protested when he fell to the cold tiled floor, he was shaking too much to stand. You can check to see if I'm lying and you'll see! I'm guilty!"

"B-because-"

"Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty-" it didn't even sound like a true word, it was as if his tongue was making up nonsense on the spot for him to say. "-guilty _guilty_ _ **guilty**_ _ **guiltyGUILTY!"**_

His hands slapped against the ground, and he stared at them, fighting for air in a stuffy room of poisonous smells. Black splotches lazily floated across his vision, flickering darker with every minute movement of his eyes. He was overcome, he could barely see anything. Yet from the darkness, a tiny, stubborn voice replied, "you couldn't have."

"Why _not?!_ Why couldn't I have-?!"

"Because I stole Larry's book report."

Nothing.

All of the writhing emotions inside of him. The spots which encroached upon his sight. They went away, cleared, as if nothing had been there to begin with. They left him hollowed out, flimsy, almost like he could be pushed over at any moment. He was as light as the spots which had danced across his sight not moments before. The things which he had allowed to take control of him... Jealousy and planning had caused this trouble, yet the power to use them both fled from his grasp. He just couldn't understand Phoenix's confession. Perhaps, saying guilty so many times caused it. Repeating it to the point where it was a garbled sound, a falsehood masquerading as a word. That was why nothing made sense, that explained what he believed he had just heard.

Larry shared in his stupor, but for nowhere near as long.

"What is this, _Everyone Hates the Butz Week_?!" Larry furiously demanded, looking between them. "Which of you is the thief?!"

"I confess!" "It's me!"

Exasperated, Larry fell to his knees as well. He glared at them, a clear demand for an explanation.

"Larry, where did you find your book report?" Phoenix asked.

"I never found it!"

"Even though you searched everywhere in the class? Even the homework pile?"

"Well of course I checked in the homework pile! That's the most _obvious_ place to put something!"

If his face had not been red before, it would have turned at the implication. But Phoenix had opened up a discrepancy in the story.

"I put the report in the homework pile!"

"That's the first place I checked," Larry said, rolling his eyes. "If Mister Goody Two-Shoes took my stuff, I figured it would be in the proper place."

His plans _really_ weren't as ingenious as he had thought.

"And you never found the book report?" Phoenix reiterated.

"Never!"

On quivering legs, Phoenix rose to his feet. Then he walked, lugging a roll of paper towel behind him. He brought it to a shelf. The roll, being made of cheap, non-functioning paper, served its purpose well. It was sturdy enough to hold the weight of the small boy. Not so much as a dent was left when he reached for something in the back of a high shelf. They all knew what it was before Phoenix even brought it out.

"My book report!"

Phoenix stepped down, he handed it to his friend.

"Larry," he solemnly began, "I stole your homework, and I'm sorry. I promise to never do it again."

"Wait, so you _both_ stole it? At different times? Why did you steal it too? Then who's guilty?!"

"Can you forgive us?" Phoenix asked, his voice trembling again.

Larry calmed down. He brought a thumb to the pages, fanning through empty margins.

"Huh, well... I guess I should go start this."

So, they were left alone in the depths of a smelly janitor's closet.

Miles stared at Phoenix.

Phoenix stared at Miles.

"I never thought-" he cringed, and averted his stare to the side. "I never took into account we might _both_ be telling the truth. With the magatama..."

From his pocket, Phoenix retrieved the magatama. It glinted strangely in the yellow lighting of the room, it seemed to reflect in all of the wrong places, while the veins of the stone shimmered.

"Maybe you should take this... back."

"It did cause us trouble," he grudgingly admitted, even though he did not reach for it.

"Why did you give it to me, to begin with?"

So long as the magatama was in his hand, and he replied to the question, that could pose a problem. After the drama they had just been through, he was not capable of rousing enough panic inside of himself. He was drained, so very tired after wrangling all the different feelings which had taken over. What was the best way to get around a lie then? How had his father told him polygraph results could be falsified? Avoiding the question, yes that was it.

"The truth will always have a cost, but that doesn't mean you can't haggle!"

"...Miles, that makes absolutely no sense."

Maybe he should have saved the moral lesson they supposedly learned until a little later in the conversation. How else could he try to not answer Phoenix's question? Well, they were already off track as it was, Phoenix's attention would have to be focused elsewhere by this point!

"You never explained to Larry why you stole his homework as well."

"I just really wanted to learn about jurisprudence," he mumbled, looking aside too. "Whenever you explain something about law, you get super excited and you talk a lot more than normal. I think... I think you- no, it- no wait you're cut-"

"There they are teacher!"

The door to the janitor's closet was flung open by the teacher. Larry was standing behind her legs, peering out at them.

"Fighting! Of all the things!" She began, wagging a finger at them. "Your parents will be so disappointed in you Phoenix! And _you!_ Just wait until your father hears about this!"

Somewhere between all of the screaming and breakdowns, they must have missed the bell ringing. Phoenix looked like he was about to protest the allegation of fighting- he was rather confused about it as well- but chose to keep his mouth shut. When one looked at the janitor's closet, it was easy to believe they might have been fighting. There were overturned brooms, and one of the rolls of paper towel was torn open, scattered bits of wrapper laid about. Given that both their faces were bright red, it only added to the image...

"Yeah!" Larry chimed in. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting during school hours!"

"Thank-you for telling me Larry," said the teacher in a saccharine tone, bringing a hand to ruffle his hair.

Of course! When something smells-!

"You two may be my bestest friends," Larry continued, all practiced dramatics and crocodile tears, "but I won't let you fight! Or miss class!"

"Larry," they both growled through clamped teeth.

Naturally, the teacher couldn't see how Larry mouthed _"revenge suckers,"_ or how his fluttering eyelashes halted, revealing eyes glinting victoriously. Instead, she barked, "detention after school, both of you! Now tidy yourselves up and get to class!"

"Yes teacher."

She spun around, and marched back to the classroom, Larry on her heels.

"Did you know that dueling is illegal in our country?" Larry asked, his tone all sugary innocence. "That's part of the reason I had to stop them teacher! I couldn't let them keep breaking the law!"

"Why Larry! I never realized you were so well-versed in our legal system!"

They waited until the two were out of earshot before commenting.

"And here I thought that terrible smell was the cleaners, not the Butz."

"No amount of bleach can get rid of his reek."

"I'm sorry I got you detention," Phoenix miserably said. "I've destroyed your perfect record!"

When the teacher noticed they weren't following, she whirled on the both of them, and snapped, "are you two coming?"

"Yes teacher," they replied in dull voices.

They began to walk slowly, still not wishing to be overheard by those ahead of them.

"It doesn't matter. Father won't get mad at me once I explain the truth."

If Phoenix's grip on the magatama tightened, he pretended not to notice. It wasn't a lie, he really didn't feel bothered in the slightest by it. In fact, he was having a hard time keeping his face neutral.

Landing detention gave him exactly what had caused the fiasco in the first place.

* * *

"Yes well, as sickeningly sweet the ending to our little story was-"

"Could you stop with the one-liners for like, point-five seconds Edgeworth? I was just about to get to the point before you-"

"Then get to it Wright, you've wasted enough time with childhood reminiscence as it is."

Phoenix had to take a moment to compose himself. After some dark mutterings, he regained his train of thought.

"You were unclear about why you gave me _this_ ," he brandished the magatama, "and instead chose to steer around the topic. _So,_ I've disproved your statement. You hide what is by your own definition, frivolous, and proceed to be unclear about it."

"This happened years ago, it's obsolete, irrelevant to the matter at hand today!"

"Tell me: what's the statute of limitations on friendship?"

 **CRACK!**

"Wright-!"

"That's what I thought. Now what was your second-last statement, something about me being dramatic I believe? Well, about that..."


	4. Jingle-Neverending Trouble

"Wright," with a long-suffering sigh, he turned from his desk, to face the window. "You _can't_ deny that you've been dramatic your entire life. And if you do, I will throw you out of this building."

Up until that point, they had both been using his desk to slap their hands when emphasizing an argument. Now, Phoenix circled around, trailing his fingertips across its neat surface.

"Just like you can't deny you've been avoiding me?"

They pretended not to notice when a voice from behind the couch gasped at his statement, and how a second one shushed it. They were cutting straight to the bone of the issue, the whole reason why he was there to begin with. The cause for the psyche-locks, which even now swayed between them.

"If I wanted to avoid you, I would move back to Germany again."

"Oh, and I'm sure the other prosecutors, and all of your other friends would be _so_ happy with you for giving up on ridding our system of corruption. And Franziska would be _thrilled_ to have you back in the same country!" Phoenix dropped the fake smile. "You wouldn't go a single day without being whipped ten times!"

"Franziska is abroad, Wright."

There was a tiredness to his tone, and he was letting it show. Phoenix knew that he was wearing him down at this rate, if he wasn't bothering with hiding it. He was so close, just a little bit of proof away from discovering what he hid: the explanation for why Edgeworth was avoiding him.

"She'd mail you back here in a crate with _fool_ as the return address."

"Now you're being ridiculous," he huffed, but the corner of his lips twitched, betraying what he thought.

The defensive indignation he had shown not seconds before was melting away at an alarming rate. He was still confident, holding his head high as he looked at the cityscape. Probably due to that fact his next argument was the hardest one to disprove. He _had_ been expressive his entire life, he was an unabashed former arts student! So saying that he wasn't making dramatic claims about Edgeworth's behaviour... Well, he would just have to show he wasn't making things up, that he was capable of restraining the theatrics when he wanted. He even had a precedent case for it too. All the composure Edgeworth had collected would slip between his fingers yet again.

Phoenix skillfully avoided the toes which poked out from behind the curtains. He joined Edgeworth by the window, waiting for the right moment to segue into his point.

"That might be a little far-fetched," he admitted.

"Correct."

"Especially since Franziska would never lick that many stamps to send back her little brother," he teased, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "Trucy would stow away in your luggage again, though. It would happen no matter how many times you checked."

"Travelling really is a hassle. Not that you _aren't_ , but-"

"-you're still not in Europe anyway," he finished, with less malice than before.

"Mhm."

Grey eyes flicked away from the man standing next to him, Phoenix's followed, he noted there was a bug nested on the office plant. It was sleek, a dark green which helped it camouflage within the glossy leaves. While he might be able to look over an insect in the pot, he could not pretend to ignore the bug- _listening device_ \- which someone had placed there earlier. Had they not done a sweep of the room before this conversation? Phoenix supposed it didn't matter, seeing as there were others listening in as it was.

"I think you should go back to school and finish up your arts education."

"Huh?"

"You've taken the bar _twice_ , and you still don't use that knowledge in court, so a little polishing of your theatrics instead couldn't hurt."

"Are you _encouraging_ me to bluff more often?"

"I can't encourage what I can't prevent to begin with. I've already said it once before, but-"

Phoenix was about to cut him off there, reveal the precedent where he had stopped himself from being dramatic. However, he realized in doing that, his point would be moot. There was no time more shocking than an interruption, it would destroy his case. So, he had to wait until a perfectly anticlimactic moment, a moment which would make no sense to anyone in the room, in order to support his point.

When he could stare at the listening device no longer, his attention went to a bird. It was preening on the window ledge, acting as nonchalant as a bird not native to the area possibly could. The piercing, amber eyes recalled memories of the light in janitor's closet, of a detention spent cleaning up the mess made. A "collaborative effort" as their teacher called it. Supposedly to teach them a lesson in cooperation, as if there had been any issue to begin with. Almost instinctively, Phoenix could hear himself snarling Larry's name under his breath. While the lingering window-washer may have looked suspiciously like their friend, it still drew his notice.

"Do I even want to know?"

"I was just reminiscing on your first and last ever detention. It's good blackmail material you know."

"Still stuck on that precedent are you? The knowledge is about as useful as the fact that," he spoke louder so everyone spying could hear, "you cried a minimum of once a week at school. And when Larry mentioned you hadn't done so in a month, you started up again."

"Fair enough," he demurely said, not rising to the bait.

"Well, nothing which happened at that time which will help your arguments."

 _"Heh, you're more right than you think,"_ he thought to himself. _"The nothing I did is exactly it."_

"What is that ridiculous expression about?"

His voice rose yet again, when he noticed Phoenix was more collected than was explicable. Rather than mask what he was feeling, he lied about it, misdirecting. Wordlessly, he gestured past the window-washer and neckerchief-wearing bird, to the street. School was out, in fact, it was around the time of day when they would have been dismissed from class. Students were milling about, typically walking in groups of three or four. One lonesome girl trudged up the sidewalk, but another was chasing after her. Not that she was aware of it yet. From the twelfth floor, they were hardly larger than a fingernail in size. The only distinctive things which could be seen were their uniforms, and the colour of their hair. It was a disaster waiting to happen, and sure enough, they collided when they reached the cross walk. The running girl had gotten what she wanted despite that.

When the lights changed, they resumed, albeit at a slower pace. She needed to catch her breath. All around them, people were going about their own lives, the streets grew busier as rush hour came upon them. Or maybe the duo had passed a corner somewhere, because they were quickly swallowed up into the indistinguishable masses.

"You know..."

Phoenix let himself deliberately remain serene, as if he were reminiscing on something. Of course, he already knew what he wanted to say, he could rattle the words off the top of his head. It was a flawless script, written and memorized within the time Edgeworth had chosen to keep quiet.

"Out with it."

"I'm glad you and Larry broke into the janitor's closet."

"We didn't _break in."_

Phoenix inwardly scoffed at how predictable the response was. It made things too easy, just too easy. Being unruffled meant his own retort sounded better in comparison, less rushed.

"Just like how you _borrowed_ the book report?"

"Exactly like it."

"Yes, well, anyway," he dropped the subject, treating it as if it possessed no significance. "What I was going to bring up was my half-baked plan to tell the teacher what had happened."

All this time he had avoided making any sort of physical contact. Now, he whirled on Phoenix, and his hands were partially outstretched to his neck. His fingers twitched as if they were straining to not throttle him. Phoenix had never seen Edgeworth use physical violence, but the reassurance was not enough to stop him from taking a step back.

"What?! Are you insane?! You already had a reputation as a thief, even if I disproved it! Admitting to stealing the book report would destroy any standing you had built up in the class!"

"I got rid of that plan pretty quickly though."

"A surprisingly smart decision! I wouldn't put it past you to do something so drama..."

Edgeworth still looked ready to strangle him, but now for an entirely different reason.

"WRIGHT!"

Cheerily brandishing the magatama, he side-stepped again.

 **CRACK!**

 _"Left_ actually, one left."


	5. Jingle-Can't Turn Back to Everyday Life

His enraged scream almost had everyone in the room leap from their hiding places. It was the cry of a wounded animal, backed into a corner. But if there was one thing which was true about the analogy, then it meant he would only become more vicious as he clung to the secret. Phoenix pressed on, the desire for answers he held just as strong as his attempt to hide them. Glinting chains danced precariously in the air. With sharp tinkling sounds, weak spots broke, and the length of it would snap away. It was all coming down around them, and the only thing supporting the writhing mass of links was a single red lock. As he backed up, they snagged him. He had to lean against the desk for support as trailing chains snaked between his ankles.

"It's a frivolous detail and I'm not hiding anything and if I was it wouldn't matter because it's not significant in any way. You're being dramatic, trying to blow something out of proportions even though it doesn't matter."

"The only thing I'm trying to do is get rid of your psyche locks, so they'll finally let us out of this room."

"Why don't you use your magatama to unlock the door?" He sneered.

"It's a key to the heart, not a door," he continued levelly. "Of course, you know that, because you're the one who gave it to me."

"Correct, barely."

"We've established that you're hiding something, as if the locks weren't proof enough. You said that you're open with me about small details. Yet, I proved that you weren't."

"I-In-" he tried to look away, but the chains draped upon his shoulders were too heavy. "Indeed."

"I even proved to you that I know how to not make theatric claims for the sake of it, which shows that I am not accusing you out of nowhere."

It was his turn to move now. He closed in. A squeeze of the sweat-slicked magatama gave him the strength to pass through the hindrances around them.

"You've been avoiding me, to the extent where both our employees locked us in your office. And I want to know the reason why."

"Don't. Think. This. Proves. Anything. Y-your claims are-"

"Absurd?" In a parody if the own man's scornful gestures, he shook his head. "Edgeworth please, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ABSURD!"

 _ **CRACK!**_

"NGHOOOH!"

The final lock exploded into a spray of crimson. He shielded instinctively, fully expecting the bite of splinters to dig into him. The shrapnel did no damage. They were like bubbles, shooting through the air and winking out of existence not a moment later. The chains undulated. From every direction, invisible hands pulled them back, dragging them into ether. The rattling sound echoed inside of his mind until he thought that his brain might come loose. But when that sound dinned, his world was filled with another.

"Wright," he growled, voice guttural. "W-Wright-!"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Tell me: the reason I stole that book report. The reason I gave you that _stupid_ rock!"

It suddenly occurred to Phoenix that just because a person had no choice but to answer after breaking the psyche-locks, it didn't mean it had to make sense. They didn't have to reveal the secret at all. They could write it down and burn the paper before him... Or in his case, speak in nonsensical riddles.

 _"Urk! I knew it was too good to be true,"_ he thought to himself. _"As if cornering Edgeworth could ever be that easy."_

Prickles of sweat broke out on his scalp, but they were only partially caused by the jam he was stuck in now. Something about the thought of backing him into a corner made him feel that way too. Backed into a...

Oh.

 _Oh._

 _ **Uh-oh.**_

That couldn't be right, he didn't believe it could make sense. His mouth went dry, and his face was turning unbearably warm. He didn't understand why though, why he was locked in this room it how he had gotten into this position by asking for answers. Why had he taken his magatama with him? Well it was all his fault for giving it in the first place, because of course he would carry a keepsake given to him by the person he-!

"Your answer?"

With the power of those two words, all the snarky remarks, all the condescending he had done was turned back on him. He already knew his winning streak was beginning to fade in the argument, but now the tables were turning against him. Were those giant chess pieces _floating?_ Phoenix shook his head, wanting to rid himself of the sight. An answer, he needed to give an answer.

There was only one possible theory.

"By chance," he closed his eyes praying to anything and everything. "Was it the same reason I hid the book report? And started crying when you discovered you were lying to me?"

"And what reason is that?"

"You're- I'm- I think we're both-"

"I think so too."

"Yeah," he nodded breathlessly.

"Indeed."

"Yup."

"Verily."

Their succinct agreement made the omnipotent feeling of dread from within worse. He had just ruthlessly interrogated the man he was in love with!

"I thought you were just avoiding me because there was some Steel Samurai marathon I hadn't heard about," he was rambling before he could stop himself. "If I had known this was going to be serious then I never would've-"

"The Steel Samurai _is_ serious," he corrected.

"Oh my God. How could I have done this? How can you still even _like_ me after I just forced you to confess? I'm so sorry, I should have stopped, but I was-"

"Did I tell you to stop? At any point did I-"

"No, but you were-"

"I could have shut down the conversation, or threatened the pay of at least half the people in the room so they would let us out."

"But why-?"

"Why would I give you something made to detect lies and then make you promise to use it on me in a dire time?"

"Then you could've just told the truth!"

" _Honestly,_ stop and think before you accuse! That didn't mean I _wanted_ to. Just... I realized that at some point I would lie in the future, and would need to be forced into speaking the truth."

" _Ack! And here I was hoping we could end this all in hugs."_

His expression softened a bit.

"Would it be inaccurate to say then, that we share mutual feelings?"

"N-no, it wouldn't."

"How long have you-"

When he blinked, he could swear he could see the outline of chess pieces. Completely out of normal proportion, and hovering around his shoulders for some reason.

"Well how long have _you-"_

" _Since the day I met you."_

God he was so embarrassing.

"We've established that already. I only came to terms recently, and started avoiding you."

A pawn, a knight, a rook, a bishop, and a queen.

"O-oh, yeah, well uh, the same goes for me!"

He wasn't imagining them, yup, he was fairly certain of that.

"How interesting you should say that," he was smiling now. "Avoidance can be a bit of a two-way street you know. You didn't come chasing after me like you normally would. Instead, we were both deceived into coming here."

Phoenix desperately looked towards the door, it was still locked. Had they not resolved the problem already?

"U-um, Maya, Kay? You can let us out now."

No response.

"Wright, I'm going to introduce you to a little thing called _logic chess_."

 _ **Fin**_


End file.
